Abiding Wealth: How To Be More In Touch With Yourself

Our lives are distractions from our selves and our rich inner world. There are bright, shiny objects everywhere: jobs, relationships, fun things to do, projects to complete, housework to do. It's easy to find ourselves caught up in our lives and lose track of what has meaning and purpose for us. Before we know it, we find ourselves on our death bed having regrets and wondering where the time went and sad that we missed out on important things (research shows men have regrets about having spent so much time working to support their families and missing out on time with loved ones). Being conscious about making choices about how we spend our time can prevent us from having these regrets. Making choices that serve us and we won't regret later is one key to having a guilt-free and regret-free life.

Listening to our Inner Selves helps us find meaning and fulfillment

How do we listen to ourselves so that we can focus on what is meaningful to us? How do you know what provides fulfillment for you? You can know it when you heed your internal feelings. If you override the feelings and do things that are not fulfilling you might feel sadness and/or depression. For example, going to job that you hate on a daily basis can bring up resentment. Resentment is a sure sign that you are not headed in a direction that will be fulfilling.

Following our hearts requires paying attention. Noticing what makes us happy and what makes us sad. Listening to when we are comfortable and when we are fearful. Acknowledging these feelings supports us in connecting with ourselves. It supports us in being clear about what we need and what provides meaning and purpose in our lives.

There is a unique "right" path for each of us

If we each work at jobs that we hate, then the person who might enjoy our job won't have work that fulfills them. Letting go of a job that doesn't fulfill us allows us to find meaning and purpose in our lives by following our hearts and doing work that does fulfill us. Moving on from jobs that don't suit us also allows the person who is fulfilled by that job to do it.

What prevents us from finding our unique path?

Connecting with ourselves and finding fulfillment also takes letting go of addictions and habits we use to numb ourselves. These can be vicious circles: we do things we don't enjoy so then we feel feelings we don't enjoy, then we numb ourselves so we can continue to do these things, then we feel even more feelings we don't enjoy and numb ourselves even more. Our culture is more adept at this numbing than at any point the in the past. More than 6.2 million Americans take mood-altering drugs to reduce depression everyday. We use alcohol, sugar, and caffeine to upliftt our mood yet relief is only temporary. Or we take pain killers to numb our bodies and not listen to the warnings it is providing that something is wrong. This turning away from the self, lack of honoring our feelings and needs, or "self-betrayal" as Ganagji calls it, is what makes us want to be numb. Numbing ourselves makes it even harder to listen to what we need.

Numbing ourselves with sugar makes following our hearts desires and finding satisfaction more challenging 

Numbing prevents us from accessing our feelings and needs. Numbing keeps us disconnected from ourselves. Numbing keeps us unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

Fear may be the exception

There is an exception to this. Fear. Hundreds of years ago there were lions, tigers, and bears behind every tree. Lions, tigers, and bears are no longer a threat for most of us, certainly not on a daily basis. Yet our bodies, which have not changed as quickly as our environment, tells us this is still the case. Fear is the one feeling that might be worth overriding, I believe. These days, it can keep us stuck and prevent us from living our dreams more often than not.

Walking through fear. Fear is there to protect us, to keep us safe. It's the alarm of our body. It tells us when we are about to do something that is dangerous. Our hair can stand up on the back of our necks, letting us know that danger is close-by. We need to learn to walk through the fears that signify we are doing things differently from before. Change, while threatening, enhances our lives, if done consciously. Change does not threaten our lives, despite what the body says/feels. This is one exception to listening to our bodies. It can be exhilarating to walk through the fear and reach the other side. This is often what success feels like and it comes from feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Exhileration comes from not allowing the fear to stop us.

Finding the courage to walk through fears

It takes courages to walk through our fears. To not allow fear to stop us. To keep moving forward, even while our hearts are racing. Persistence pays off though, and handsomely. We achieve lives that support our Soul's mission and purpose, which have meaning, and which are satisfying beyond belief.

How do we get in touch with ourselves? Here is an exercise that will support you in learning this skill. Spend time in meditation for five minutes each morning, allow your mind to review the day yesterday. Notice what made you happiest, what upset you and why. Alternatively, journal for 15-20 minutes in the morning, writing about what was most satisfying yesterday. Let me know what comes up for you by replying below. Remember, these exercises will be easier to do if you have not used any mind-alterning substances this week.