Acceptance and beyond (part 2)

In my last blog post, I wrote about how I had decided to become conscious of and eliminate judgmental thinking.  I shared about the peace of mind that resulted. 

Acceptance and relationships

I didn't say how this affected my relationships with others.  What happened was that harmony ensued, more than I had ever experienced before.  As I let go of thinking that anyone was "supposed to be" different from how they are, others noticed the shifts in my thinking and responded to them.  I was no longer "better than" or "less than" but more human, more heart-centered and less in my head.  

Before I tried this, even if I didn't share my thoughts or judgments with others they responded to me as though I had.  Eliminating judgmental thinking allowed me to have relationships with others that are much more fun, since we can now play instead of arguing about the "right" or "wrong" way to do something.  I also feel less lonely since I no longer distance myself from  people I had previously judged as "crazy" or "dangerous".  I began to have a community of my peers, give as well as receive support from others, and experience love and partnership because I didn't feel responsible for trying to change others.  I set myself free and I said to myself "Atlas, you can put the world down now!"    

I digress.  Yet didn't want to miss the chance to acknowledge and celebrate how eliminating judgmental thinking shifted my relationships with others.  Now, on to the missing piece from the last blog...  

The Missing piece-trust and faith

Before I could celebrate having a flat tire, rather than bemoan it, I needed to know that the flat tire was serving some purpose in my life.  That it was a gift.  That there was some meaning to it having happened.  Eliminating the judgment was the first step in shifting my experience.  Yet I also needed to have trust and faith that there is a bigger picture that is happening, that this bigger plan is orchestrated by a loving power, that I am part of that loving power, and that it wants me to be happy.  I needed to surrender to the flow of my life and believe that even a flat tire is serving some purpose.  Perhaps it is protecting me from experiencing an auto accident or traffic jam?  Or perhaps it is providing me with an opportunity to make a contribution to the flow of someone else's life?  

Who or what is in charge?

I don't believe that I'm a puppet on a string and some force outside myself is making things happen in my life, to me.  I believe that my life is a co-creation with a powerful loving force and that together we manifest things in the material realm.  I believe that bringing the spiritual into the physical is the goal of this partnership with The Source.  It needs my hands to make things happen on Earth and it communicates what it wants me to do through inspiration.

Real world experience

Not long after I made the decision to celebrate everything, including flat tires, I had a flat tire experience.  I pulled over to the side of the road and got out of my car.  It was threatening rain and before I could even see if a flat tire was what had been causing the unusual noise I had heard, a car pulled up behind me.  Two men in their 20's jumped out of their car and asked me if I needed a hand.  I was back on the road within minutes, just as the first raindrops fell on the windshield, having met two new friends, and shouting "Thank You God!"  This was more fun than my prior experience of having a flat tire where I cried and waited over-an-hour for AAA to arrive and change it! 

Can you see The Source's presence in this flower?

So changing my attitude and accepting what is happening in each moment, rather than wishing it was different from what it is, has definitely brought more peace into my life.  

What has been your experience with accepting and/or trying to change life's unexpected happenings?  Please share your comments below...

Abiding Wealth: How To Be More In Touch With Yourself

Our lives are distractions from our selves and our rich inner world. There are bright, shiny objects everywhere: jobs, relationships, fun things to do, projects to complete, housework to do. It's easy to find ourselves caught up in our lives and lose track of what has meaning and purpose for us. Before we know it, we find ourselves on our death bed having regrets and wondering where the time went and sad that we missed out on important things (research shows men have regrets about having spent so much time working to support their families and missing out on time with loved ones). Being conscious about making choices about how we spend our time can prevent us from having these regrets. Making choices that serve us and we won't regret later is one key to having a guilt-free and regret-free life.

Listening to our Inner Selves helps us find meaning and fulfillment

How do we listen to ourselves so that we can focus on what is meaningful to us? How do you know what provides fulfillment for you? You can know it when you heed your internal feelings. If you override the feelings and do things that are not fulfilling you might feel sadness and/or depression. For example, going to job that you hate on a daily basis can bring up resentment. Resentment is a sure sign that you are not headed in a direction that will be fulfilling.

Following our hearts requires paying attention. Noticing what makes us happy and what makes us sad. Listening to when we are comfortable and when we are fearful. Acknowledging these feelings supports us in connecting with ourselves. It supports us in being clear about what we need and what provides meaning and purpose in our lives.

There is a unique "right" path for each of us

If we each work at jobs that we hate, then the person who might enjoy our job won't have work that fulfills them. Letting go of a job that doesn't fulfill us allows us to find meaning and purpose in our lives by following our hearts and doing work that does fulfill us. Moving on from jobs that don't suit us also allows the person who is fulfilled by that job to do it.

What prevents us from finding our unique path?

Connecting with ourselves and finding fulfillment also takes letting go of addictions and habits we use to numb ourselves. These can be vicious circles: we do things we don't enjoy so then we feel feelings we don't enjoy, then we numb ourselves so we can continue to do these things, then we feel even more feelings we don't enjoy and numb ourselves even more. Our culture is more adept at this numbing than at any point the in the past. More than 6.2 million Americans take mood-altering drugs to reduce depression everyday. We use alcohol, sugar, and caffeine to upliftt our mood yet relief is only temporary. Or we take pain killers to numb our bodies and not listen to the warnings it is providing that something is wrong. This turning away from the self, lack of honoring our feelings and needs, or "self-betrayal" as Ganagji calls it, is what makes us want to be numb. Numbing ourselves makes it even harder to listen to what we need.

Numbing ourselves with sugar makes following our hearts desires and finding satisfaction more challenging 

Numbing prevents us from accessing our feelings and needs. Numbing keeps us disconnected from ourselves. Numbing keeps us unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

Fear may be the exception

There is an exception to this. Fear. Hundreds of years ago there were lions, tigers, and bears behind every tree. Lions, tigers, and bears are no longer a threat for most of us, certainly not on a daily basis. Yet our bodies, which have not changed as quickly as our environment, tells us this is still the case. Fear is the one feeling that might be worth overriding, I believe. These days, it can keep us stuck and prevent us from living our dreams more often than not.

Walking through fear. Fear is there to protect us, to keep us safe. It's the alarm of our body. It tells us when we are about to do something that is dangerous. Our hair can stand up on the back of our necks, letting us know that danger is close-by. We need to learn to walk through the fears that signify we are doing things differently from before. Change, while threatening, enhances our lives, if done consciously. Change does not threaten our lives, despite what the body says/feels. This is one exception to listening to our bodies. It can be exhilarating to walk through the fear and reach the other side. This is often what success feels like and it comes from feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Exhileration comes from not allowing the fear to stop us.

Finding the courage to walk through fears

It takes courages to walk through our fears. To not allow fear to stop us. To keep moving forward, even while our hearts are racing. Persistence pays off though, and handsomely. We achieve lives that support our Soul's mission and purpose, which have meaning, and which are satisfying beyond belief.

How do we get in touch with ourselves? Here is an exercise that will support you in learning this skill. Spend time in meditation for five minutes each morning, allow your mind to review the day yesterday. Notice what made you happiest, what upset you and why. Alternatively, journal for 15-20 minutes in the morning, writing about what was most satisfying yesterday. Let me know what comes up for you by replying below. Remember, these exercises will be easier to do if you have not used any mind-alterning substances this week.