What stories are you telling yourself?

Are you listening to the stories you are telling yourself?

Do you spend time alone each day? If so, do you listen to music during that time? Or are you someone who turns the TV on when you get up in the morning and leaves it on until you go to bed each night? If so, you might not be aware of what stories you are telling yourself. Yet these stories are running your life. 

Listening within brings freedom

I enjoy spending time in quiet each day. Whether this quiet time is spent in meditation or journaling or silence doesn't matter as much as that I'm being with myself in the silence. In this silence I can hear what I am saying to myself.

How our stories affect our life

Hearing our own thoughts is important because these "stories" create our feelings which in turn create our experiences in the world. Research has documented that 80% of the thoughts we think are the same day after day, throughout our whole lives. I believe this is because we are not listening to our thoughts. I believe that when we listen to our thoughts, we have more choice about what we think. After all, how can you change something if you are not even aware it exists?

An example from my life

I often heard my mother tell me that I was "too big" to be held. Intellectually, I knew she said this because she was required to wear a brace while pregnant with my sister when I was three. This brace supported her from having pain while her belly pinched a nerve from weight and it prohibited her from lifting more than a few pounds, including picking me up. Yet even with this understanding, I repeatedly experienced being "too big" throughout my life. I realized this story was operating for me when i did an exercise at an International Intensive Training in Nonviolent Communication, at the age of 49.

Trusting another to support us brings freedom 

In the exercise, we were instructed to lean into another person with our full weight, as they leaned back toward us, seeing if we trusted them to support us. I reluctantly created a triangle by leaning in, until the man I was partnered with said to me something about my reluctance. I was both shocked by his honesty as well as grateful for the information.

After that exercise I decided that it was safe for me to join "puppy piles" and snuggle with others and allow myself to be held, something that until then I had thought was for others but not for me. I realized that, in fact, I was not "too big" to be touched. I shifted my story from being "too big" to allowing myself to surrender to another and know that I could trust them to support my weight. This has increased my ability to be intimate in many ways.

Choosing the stories we tell ourselves empowers us

I hope you are empowered by this sort of thinking. It certainly has empowered me. I have, on more than one occasion, discovered a thought that surprised me. By becoming aware of these thoughts, I've seen how telling a "story" resulted in frustration and how that frustration was e a direct result of telling that story. By becoming aware of the story, I was able to change it to something I wanted instead. My point here is that you cannot change what you are not aware of and that by becoming aware of your thoughts you can have more choice about your experiences in life. 

What's your experience with "stories"?

Is there a story that you are becoming aware of? How can you change this story so that it empowers, rather than disempowers, you? I welcome your comments below! 

Abiding Wealth: An Exploration of Our Inner Resources

What are inner resources? How do they impact our lives?

Feelings and needs/values

I've been teaching feelings and needs since January, 2005. During this time, I've noticed that there are very few people who know what they are feeling and/or needing in each moment. I mourn this because how can we get what we need if we don't know what it is?  Yet our education system, all 12 years of elementary school, doesn't mention feelings or needs or teach us how to recognize them. Why? What would happen if people were in touch with our feelings and needs/values?

Navigating by our internal compass provides autonomy and personal power 

We would be less easily controlled by outside forces, certainly. We would follow our inner longings and guidance. We would be self-directed and less easily manipulated by others. This would not serve those who are in power in the world. Yet it would support each of us in our individual "pursuit of happiness".

This greater fulfillment would, in turn, make it even less likely that "the powers that be" would have us doing what they want us to do. It would mean that we each would be listening to our internal compass and navigating our lives from this place.

The gifts of all six "senses"

Other internal resources, in addition to our feelings and values, include our intuition. This gift is something that the majority of people in our culture don't even believe exists. Yet each time I have spoken with someone who is a professional psychic they have told me that we each have this ability, not just a few of us. Yet when I've worked at Health Fairs where psychics were present, people are very willing to pay money to hear what they have to say. There are even people who follow the guidance of a psychic on a daily basis, as though they are blind and the psychic can see what is ahead for them more clearly than they can see their own future.

We each have our intellect and all of our five (some say six) senses as well. These are resources that we can call on to navigate our way to the most satisfying and fulfilling path for our individual Soul's. Yet how many choose careers based upon what their parents value, rather than checking their inner resources? How many choose a career based upon the job market, instead of what would make their heart sing?

For You 

Using inner resources leads us in a different direction

Career is not the only area where inner resources come in handy when making a decision. Have you ever said you wished you had followed your intuition and had regrets when you didn't? Have you ever met someone and known on the first date that they were (fill in the blank) and things would not work between you yet continued to date them, only to break up years later for the reason you filled in the blank? Have you ever had an urge to bring something with you as you left the house and not done so, only to regret it when you arrived at your destination? These are a few examples of ways our inner resources support us in our lives, and the consequences when we don't acknowledge and/or utilize them.


What internal resource do you value most in your own life?   I'd enjoy hearing your comments below.